4 Lessons I’ve Learned in 2008
By SanyikaIn a few days I will be celebrating my 36th birthday. This excites and frightens me all at once. Another year has passed that I cannot relive, I cannot change, I do not fully understand. And yet I as much as I want to see what’s in store for me in 2009, I am scared that what lies around the corner is “more of the same.”
2008 was by far my toughest year ever both personally and professionally. I lost several people that I loved dearly. The unexpected death of my father, my cheerleader, my confident, my friend was a blow that I still am not sure I fully feel even months after it has been dealt.
His sudden death also brought to light a reality that I’d known for sometime but failed to adequately address. I don’t really have a business. Not in the sense that it can live, breathe, generate income without me. So much for being a “lifestyle entrepreneur” when you find out that your business stops as soon as life interrupts. That was another blow that I still am not sure I fully feel even months after it has been dealt.
So as I work to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and sure up the foundation of my unbalanced business I am compelled to take a look back over the course of the months that have passed, and the year that has taught me more about myself then I honestly wanted to learn.
Coaching vs. Consulting – So what’s the difference? I’d thought and have used these words interchangeably but I learned a distinct difference about them when talking with a multi-millionaire who’d started, sold, lost and bankrupted 6 businesses in the course of 24 years.
He told me that coaching was not about telling others what to do, or even doing it for them (that’s where consulting and freelancing comes in) it’s actually about bringing out the best in the person who actually already has the inherent ability to succeed, achieve and exceed their own expectations.
This caused me to ask myself, “Are you a coach or a consultant?” The verdict is still out as it depends on who I’m actually helping and supporting, however I can say that this definition of coaching is something that I am more fully embracing.
Twitter, Facbook, LinkedIN, Oh my… The pull towards all things twitter was strong for me this year. I learned about it from Warren Whitlock even before he became the co-author of “Twitter Revolution” it’s a fascinating thing to capture your most profound thoughts in 140 characters and have others “follow” you to see what all the buzz is about.
I have yet to master the balance between keeping up with 600+ “tweets” that are going on in the Twitter stream all at once, or all the friend requests that come in on Facebook daily, in fact, I’m only at 75% complete with my LinkenIN profile….but I’m getting there.
What I have come to realize about social media is it is a very powerful tool. Once you turn it on, it can draw you in, and if you let it consume you. Like all powerful tools (i.e. cars, chain saws, juicers…) you need to understand why and how to use them before you just pick them up and start driving, cutting or processing fruit.
Here’s what I mean, while I have made some really great connections with people via social networking sites, I have also spent countless hours on them in ways that were not only unproductive but that I’ll never get back. I jumped in because everyone said “it’s the place to be” and without a clear understanding of my why.
I now realize that much of my activity has been haphazard and trial and error. So I am pulling back, reassessing my social media activities and determining how to make my comments meaningful, my time productive and above all keep the people who are following me engaged in a way that will add value to their lives also.
I’m a work in progress, and as I strive to understand how I can be a true asses to others on all the social media platforms, I encourage and invite you to join me on the journey if you choose:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/mediastarr
Facebook: http://profile.to/sanyika
LinkedIN: http://www.linkedin.com/in/sanyika
No such thing as “Set it and Forget it” -
As much as I would like to have things stay in their perfect places and neat little boxes I’ve finally learned (or maybe more like accepted the fact) that there is no set it and forget it button.
The people and things in our lives that require regular attention, maintainable, and even love cannot be put on autopilot.
They have to be acknowledged, validated and yes – even scheduled in so that while all the rest of the demands of life that are clamoring for our attention they don’t get pushed to the edges and drowned out.
The fourth lesson I learned in 2008 was that: Hope endures. It’s better than optimism – The Bible says that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I consider myself a pretty optimistic person. I see the rose colored glass as being half full, and use lemons to make lemonade – usually.
What I learned over the course of the trying months of 2008 is that hope is more enduring than optimism and that when the glass of lemonade is completely it can only be filled again with the enduring hope that comes from a faith that must be tested to show itself.
I remain optimistic, but what I know for sure is that hope endures.
Of course there were many other lessons I learned and truths that I came to accept over the course of the year, but these stuck out as the most profound for me. So, now that a New Year has begun there are many more lessons that I look forward to learning. And I’m sure there are many more inconvenient truths that I must embrace. I often forget that life is about the journey not the destination.
This year, I am striving to me a better me, to be mindful of the big picture and recognize that while I can’t do it all…I can and will take a small step toward my big goals every day.
It’s a process…it’s life…the journey continues and I’m up for the ride!
