Turning My Mess Into My Message
By · CommentsYou may have heard the expression, “turn lemons into lemonade” a few times on your journey through life, well that’s exactly the thought behind the phrase “turning my mess into my message,” which a mentor of mine suggested to me years ago.
I’ve made my share of mistakes in business and in life, and when I’m open to it, each one has the potential to be an opportunity for growth and advancement.
My interview with Jonathan Gunson of TrafficCafe.TV reminded me of that, watch and enjoy, there are lots of “nuggets” inside!
Love and money can go together nicely but it requires having an open communication policy which is not only smart…it can be sexy too!
Watch this video as Financial Fitness Coach Sanyika Calloway Boyce and Relationship Expert Donna Barnes discuss ways to strengthen your relationships, handle money without headaches, and offer simple but sound tips that will bring couples together and their finances from falling apart.
http://www.sanyika.com
How To Be SMART:
Why Regular Goals Aren’t Good Enough
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I don’t want to alarm you, or cause a panic but I do want to ask you a very serious question,
“How do you plan to make this year better than the last?”
Your answer to that question is deeply rooted in how you’ve set your goals.
While it might be your intention to do something different, it will take more than hope and positive thinking for what you want to match what you get out of the passing days, weeks and months remaining in the year.
Quite simply, you need a plan. Both for your business and your life.
A set of action steps that will propel you to the next level when you’re feeling confident and pull you forward when you’re feeling weak, tired and scared.
If it’s undeniable that you MUST have an action plan to achieve your desired outcomes, than how do you convert your goals into a step-by-step action plan that will help you make this your best year yet?
There are three simple things that you can do to turn your goals into reality:
1. You must recognize that your goals need to be S-M-A-R-T
2. You need to write them down or document them in some way
3. You need to get someone or something to which you can be accountable
I’ll focus on the S-M-A-R-T acronym because it spells things out in very plain language that makes goal setting easy to do - and most important- easy to follow. Here’s what I mean:
The ‘S’ stands for “Specific” - Whenever you take the time to make something specific - especially a goal - it has a much greater chance of coming to life.
One surefire way to set a specific goal is to answer these six “W” questions:
- Who: Who (or what) is involved in reaching the goal successfully?
- What: What exactly do I want to accomplish?
- When: When will I accomplish this goal (set a date, day and time)
- Why: Why is this goal important to me? (Give specific reasons or benefits)
The ‘M’ stands for “Measurable” - Determine the benchmarks and milestones you’ll establish to measure your progress toward the achievement of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you are better able to stay on track, reach your deadlines, and best of all gain the momentum and confidence necessary to reach your goals.
To make your goals measurable, ask yourself:
- How much? - As in, how much do I need to make or do, to know that I’m going in the direction of my goal?
- How many? - As in, how many do I need to sell or use, to know that I’m going in the direction of my goal?
- How will I know when it is accomplished? - As in, what will achievement look like, feel like, be like?
The ‘A’ stands for “Attainable” - Before setting goals, it’s important that you first figure out what it’s honesty going to take to reach them. This is not the time to be Pollyanna or pie-in-the-sky. You must take note of any limitations, deficiencies or self-sabotaging habits you have that could cause a serious threat to your goals. It might even be necessary to make a goal of working on what’s likely to hold you back.
Your goals can be as BIG as you’d like them to be. Just make sure that you break them down into manageable steps that will allow you to see and celebrate the progress you’re making along the way. The bigger the goal, the smaller the steps you’ll need to reach it.
The ‘R’ stands for “Realistic” - To check on how realistic your goal is, ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal. Then determine if you are truly willing to make the adjustments and sacrifices to create the conditions necessary.
The size of the goal has nothting to do with how realistic it is, on the contrary - it should be a large goal. Just understand that a large goal will cause you to stretch. It’s the need for growth that will often challenge your perception of how realistic it is to achieve it.
The ‘T’ stands for “Timely” - Goals need set time frames and parameters in which to be achieved. Without them there’s no sense of urgency, no real reason to get it done - in that case, ”Someday” will do…
However, if you want to make your first sale, book for your TV appearance, or pay off your credit card debt - by when do you want to do it? You need to choose a date in the future and work backwards toward it.
Making the declaration, “I will do ______ by July 31st” gives you something to which you can be accountable and a way to measure with each day that goes by if you are getting closer to where you want to be. Plus, it will allow your unconscious mind (which is where we operate from) know what you’re going after so that a plan can be set in motion to reach the goal.
If you haven’t set yourself up for success in reaching your goals, I strongly suggest that you use the SMART model of goal setting so that you can get closer to reaching your desired destination.
The feelings of time passing at lightening speed without you knowing where the day went and being overwhelmed by all the things you have to do will be greatly reduced when you know where you want to go, and you have a specific plan for how to get there.
You’d be SMART to set your goals this way.
Clutching Crutches:
A Lesson in “How-Not-To” Grow
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At first glance they are useful, necessary, and even temporary - but crutches can be obstacles to your success.
Crutches can be obstacles to your success
Little by little they rob you, deplete you, and leave you for dead. Ok, that last one might be a bit of an exaggeration. What’s true is that crutches can become an enemy of growth by blocking us from moving forward with any type of momentum or consistency.
Technology has always been something I’ve convinced myself that I don’t particularly like learning about. Nor do I want to be bothered with the particulars of figuring it out. However I thoroughly enjoy the benefits of it and even like to use gadgets once they’re all set up for me.
I’m the person that the phrase “plug and play” was created for. Beyond pressing the “ON” button I don’t want to have to do anything else. If it is not blatantly obvious to me at first glance how to make something technical work, then my usual response would be to instantly wait for someone else to do it.
Now I am the first acknowledge the necessity of outsourcing, Virtual Assistants, and even having a person proficient in IT on your team - but what I’ve come to discover in business and in life is that; if you don’t have a basic understanding of the thing that you pass off to someone else to do for you, you create a “crutch” scenario and in some cases a hostage situation.
The concept of a crutch is a very useful one, the idea that you can lean on something (or in some cases someone) to support you in being mobile until you can fully function on your own is a comforting and often necessary reassurance.
But when the very thing that was supposed to be a temporary support on your way to self sufficiency becomes the thing that stunts your growth it is not a good thing. When the word crutch is used as an excuse not to engage in normal business building and life enhancing activities then it’s a problem that you’ll have to address if you ever want to grow.
Over the 5+ years that I’ve been a full time entrepreneur, I’ve had ample opportunities to slowly learn some of the basic things I need to know to be more knowledgeable regarding technology but instead I chose not to, shrugging it off as something that I’d do “later,” or figuring I’d just get someone on my team to help me the moment I needed it if I had a problem.
This mindset and behavior seemed to be working very well for me until the other day when I had an idea that I wanted to implement immediately, but I had no one to help me bring it to life. I knew what I wanted to do. I just didn’t know how to do it.
To make matters worse (or so I thought) I had been informed at the beginning of the year that all technical requests would take at least 24 hours to be reviewed or addressed - so much for immediate.
While I understood it practically, I hated these new restraints because they were inconvient to me and reminded me of my deficiency which made me hate even more the feeling of being helpless. How frustrating it was to “know” the thing I needed done was something basic that most savvy business owners knew how to do - just not me.
I called a friend who I admire for her ability to absorb technical things and got her help with what I wanted done. Still I was unsettled by the thought that if she were not available, I couldn’t move forward with my plan. So I asked her, “How is it that you learned and retained all of this tech stuff on top of all the other things you’ve got to juggle?”
She said, “It’s funny because most people think that I love technology. The truth is I’m more a pencil and paper kind of person. But what I love is the end result so I take the time to learn the most efficient way to get the results I want - even if I’m not always the one doing the thing that needs to be done.”
Being restricted from moving forward in this way made me realize that the crutch I’d been holding on to was no longer serving or supporting me, instead it had stunted my growth.
After this experience, I can assure you that I have no intention of becoming the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. But what I have committed to becoming is more knowledgeable of this aspect of my business. So, one of the things I did over the past weekend was to learn a few basic HTML codes that will empower me to make small changes to my website, create a squeeze page, or adjust the size of an opt-in box whenever I want.
This may not even be a big deal to someone who can read their newspaper in code, and yes someone else can do it for me. However what this situation taught me was the power that I unwillingly gave away by not having the basic knowledge for myself.
What's your crutch?
What’s your crutch?
Maybe technology is your “thing,” but accounting and bookkeeping are the things that get pushed off to someone else without you really understanding the basics of how they work.
You don’t have to change your likes or dislikes about a particular aspect of your business, but what must change - that is if it’s an area you want to grow in - is your understanding of it. We tend to shy away from the things we fear and that fear has a tremendous power to hold us hostage.
Right now, choose one aspect of your business that you know in your gut you need to better understand. Next define the best way to learn just a bit more than you currently know about it. Your goal may not be to master the topic, but rather to have more control over your rate of progress and success.
Go ahead, get rid of the crutches - it’s time for you to exercise your business building muscles!
How to Attract Your Target Audience
By · CommentsTwitter is a wonderful place for wit and wisdom and often when I take a “Twitter break” (I have designated times which I spend there - no open checkbooks here!) I first reply to anyone whose directly contacted me and than catch up on the tweets I missed from some of my favorites.
@rickbutts recently posted this short but profound message that sums up how to attract your target audience “Stop worrying about your target market and focus instead on being in alignment with yourself - that is the best way to attract your target.”
So what can you do to get in alignment with yourself so that you can attract your target audience?
Here are a couple of things that I’m working on to do just that:
1. Clear off your mental and physical desk top
Clutter = chaos. If you “lose” things on your desk just moments after you put them down, or forget information just moments after you’ve put it into your brain than it’s a good chance that you could stand to clear off your mental and physical desk top.
The best way to “clear the decks” is by setting a timer for 15 minutes and writing down all of the things that are currently causing you to worry, fret or regret. Once you have gotten them all out then review the list honestly and put a * beside everything on the list that is in your control - meaning YOU have the power to do something about it.
Than put a X beside everything that is out of your control. If you honestly acknowledge that thinking about it won’t change it, and that there is nothing that you can actively do to alter the outcome than it’s time to let it go.
Once you’ve got a * or X beside each item on your list you need to choose no more than 10 things that you will move to a priority list and work on addressing them.
Make the commitment that if its not on the list, you won’t give it your time or attention. You’ll notice fairly quickly how any things will actually take care of themselves when you focus only on the things that you can alter or control.
2. Complete your incompletes
One of the quickest ways to become out of alignment is having too many tasks, projects and things left undone. Each time you walk by the picture that needs to be hung on the wall, or you open the document with the article that needs to be written - you chip away at your energy. Incompletes drain you, and soon you go out of your way to avoid them rather than just take care of them.
Here’s a quick way to complete or delete the things that are sucking your time, draining your energy, and keeping you being in alignment so you can attract more of what and who you want.
Again it starts with making a list (there’s just something powerful about writing things down) this time categorize the list into the 4 major areas of your life (you could have more but beware of overwhelm):
- Business/career
- Family/friends
- Finances
- Home
Identify at least 3 things (but no more than 5) that you have not finished and need to either complete or do away with.
Once you have your list choose which of the things you must/need to bring to completion and get clear about which of the things you can actually do away with.
If you started a project that you were super excited about a month ago but just aren’t that into now. Don’t keep torturing yourself over it - get rid of it.
Now that you have the list of the things you need to bring closure to, get to work. Schedule at least one of the items to be addressed each day until it’s complete. You will notice a few things when you do this:
a. It really didn’t take that long to complete the project - you made it a bigger task than it really was
b. You actually like starting something and knowing that you will see it through
c. You feel good about yourself all day long
The payoff for being in alignment isn’t just attracting your target audience, it’s reconnect with the part of you that you love, like, and admire.
When you can get those good vibrations going about yourself, imagine how much more others will come to know, like, and trust you.
Thanks Rick for your simple and profound remider.
Open Checkbook Theory
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For all the freedom that comes with being an entrepreneur there is also the danger of having too much free or unstructured time.
Going straight from the time demands of college, to the routine of Corporate America I had become conditioned to get things done when they needed to be done. Period.
When a professor gave me an assignment to complete by the 10th - it got done. When my boss requested that I provide a report by 3:30pm it was done.
However, after working from home full time for almost 6 years now, and embracing the freedom of setting my own schedule, I have found that lately I haven’t been as productive as I need to be in my business or life.
After more than a few days had passed when I found myself still in my PJ’s at 2 o’clock in the afternoon with nothing checked off of my ever growing things to do list, I had to ask myself if it was because I was spending too much time (the very time I’d convinced myself that I was running out of) on the wrong things and not enough time on the things I needed to focus on.
My husband, who also works from home, challenged and intrigued me with what he calls the “Open Checkbook Theory,” it is the belief that there is an unlimited amount of resources (be it money, time, etc) in which we have to operate.
To understand this theory, you have to realize that it is not an attack on any principles of abundance, rather it is the realization that we are all given the same 24 hours in which to work and when they’re up - they’re up.
So how does the Open Checkbook Theory work against you?
It actually has to do with the 80/20 rule or what’s known as the “Pareto Principle,” which suggests that 80 percent of your productivity will come from 20 percent of your action.
Mix the Open Checkbook Theory with the fact that most of us spend 80 percent of our time working on 80 percent of things that aren’t the m0st profitable or productive, and throw in the realization that “time will be used in the measure we give,” and you have a recipe for a lot of time being wasted on the wrong things.
So what’s the solution?
How do you close the checkbook and still maintain your freedom and flexibility?
First you have to identify the things that you are regularly spending time on, and determine just how much time they really require.
For example, ask yourself:
- How often do I check my email?
- When I check my email do I read and reply immediately or do I read and tell myself I’ll get back to it later?
- Are there set times in the day that I check and respond to email or is my email box open all day (i.e. Open Checkbook)
- Do I put a limit on how long I will talk on the phone, or how often I’ll check voice mail during my focused work hours?
- Can I have someone else read, filter and even respond to my email and voice mails for me?
Before I began consciously closing the checkbook and reigning in my time, there were days when I spent more than 5 hours on email, 3 hours on various social networking sites, and another 2+ on returning phone calls. That’s a whopping 10+ hours and at least 7 of them weren’t actually necessary!
HINT: If it’s not a business buliding activity then you’ve got to question the validitiy of doing it.
So the second thing you must do is the same thing I advise my Financial Fitness clients to do when they find that their spending is out of whack. You’ve got to tell your time where to go, rather than wondering where it went.
I tend to like a free form way of operating, but too much freedom can actually lead to a crazy type of entrapment. That being said, if you want to make the most of your day there has to be some structure into when and how long you will engage in the activities that haven’t proven to yield you the highest results.
Set a schedule for when you will check emails, how often you’ll post on Twitter or Facebook, and just how long you will take to reply to an email before you delete it. When you pre-plan these things you can respond automatically rather than spending necessary productivity time that should be spent on revenue generating activities.
*One great way to do this is schedule some activity that is time sensitive. You could register for a exercise class at 4:00 PM that takes you 15 minutes to drive to so you know that you have to be finished a significant amount of work by 3:30 PM.
Third, you have to be honest with yourself about your high energy/high output times and plan your day accordingly. That being said, you want to block out chunks of time for those activities that will require the most focus, but get you the best results.
If you know that it takes you a while to get the juices flowing after you wake up, early morning might not be the best time to plan to work on a project that you need to have full energy on. Conversely, if you start to wind down mentally in the mid-afternoon it’s not the time to attempt to dig into a big task.
So, identify your high energy times and get clear on your high productivity business building tasks, then close that “checkbook,” allocate your time accordingly, and watch how much more you’ll get accomplished before 2 ‘o clock rolls around.
Decide or Choose - Which do you use?
By · CommentsAs I strive to become a better me - as in “Sanyika 3.0″ or maybe it should be 3.6 to reflect my age - I am looking for answers to the questions that seem to be recurring and solutions to the challenges that seem to keep coming back no matter how many times I think I’ve settled them.
Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed as all the areas of my life and business seem to be demanding my attention - at the very same time. One of the areas that is particularly troublesome is figuring out the things that I absolutely must do daily to grow my business. Not the things that can be outsourced, but more specifically the things that only I can do.
As I grapple with this, logic says, “Sanyika, you have to decide on which things you’re going to focus on and take action - period.”
Nothing profound there…
In fact, I’d given myself that advice countless times before, so why didn’t it seem to stick?
Well, it could be because somewhere hidden in the part of my brain that had forgotten about the Latin class I took as a Freshman in High School the true origin of the word was unsettling to me.
It turns out that the “cide” in decide means to cut off possibility, to kill, or to stifle. The etymology is Middle English, from Latin decidere, literally, to cut off, from de- + caedere to cut. As in homicide or suicide.
Ouch! No wonder the idea of deciding to do something never set particularly well with me.
Eban Pagan, one of my virtual mentors, has this to say about it, “Decisions often mean that we have a limited number of options and have to figure out which one will be the most palatable from a overall unpalatable selection.”
On the other hand, to choose means having multiple options and opportunities. Pagan says, “Choice often means unlimited options which equals freedom and possibility.”
So which would you rather be faced with - a decision or a choice?
It might seem like nothing more than “word play,” but there is something empowering about the option to choose. When we feel as if we have a choice in the matter we can take action more freely.
Does one word seem to have a more lasting and positive outcome for you?
Eban suggests that “People who regularly are forced to decided feel as if they don’t have many options and they have very little power. But I’ve found that people who are choosing what to do with their lives and time are often more successful and powerful.”
It’s worth exploring for yourself and those around you. Take notice of which word you gravitate to and how often you use it. Are you more in favor of the freedom that comes with choice or does a decision cause you to feel limited in some way?
The next time you have to figure something out, step back and see which word you automatically use.
How does it make you feel when you make a choice over a decision?
Test the theory and you might find that the only thing holding you back, literally cutting you off from the possibilities and power that are available to you is the word you use.
The next time you have the option; choose - don’t decide.
Why We Blog … My Challenge and My Charge
By · CommentsI started my first journal when I was 14 years old, and haven’t stopped journaling since. I love to write and share my thoughts. I keep all of my journals from over the years in a large black trunk. From time to time I will randomly pull one out to read. It’s interesting to see how far I’ve come, what challenges I still grapple with, and how much more I still have to learn about life and living on purpose.
When I write in my journal, sometimes I write to myself, other times I write to God, and there are even times I write to the people whom I don’t have the courage to say all that I want to say face to face. No matter what I’m writing or to whom, the process is one that I greatly enjoy because it connects me, cleanses me, and allows me to be me.
So it would seem natural. A no brainier really - that I would be a great blogger.
Well, that logic has not proven true.
I’ve resisted blogging regularly for a long time. There are many excuses I can give for why I’ve not done it - but if I am to be completely honest with myself its because the idea and the pressure of always having something clever, witty, relevant, beneficial, or even interesting to say was just way too daunting.
I’ve owned the domain name Sanyika.com for years. It has been a source of pride to have my name (both literally and figuratively) and also a cause of great debate about how to best use it.
The origin of my name is Swahili where Sanyika - means, “the gatherer,” “to gather,” “the gatherer of the people.”
I enjoy connecting with and gathering people, and I believe my mission in life is to:
1. Build sustainable relationships - people don’t want to know how much you know until they know how much you care
2. Be a resource - people need tangible support to reach their next level in all areas of their business and lives
Through my books, products, coaching services and TV appearances I strive to live my mission and build a strong foundation for my business one meaningful relationship at a time.
But despite the meaning of my name, my good intentions and even after reading books on blogging, researching other peoples blogs, and attempting to blog on topics that I’m familiar with - the love just wasn’t there. The passion to be consistent alluded me and every valiant attempt seemed to fall woefully short of my expectations and capability.
So as 2008 (one of my hardest years yet) draws to a close and 2009 quickly approaches I think once again about the blog, about “needing” one; yet honestly not knowing how this attempt will be any different than the many other failed attempts.
As a new year dawns with all its possibilities, I have decided to take a BIG and BOLD stance toward blogging - at least with this one.
I am moving past the “analysis paralysis” of needing a blog. I am choosing to ignore some of the rules about blogging. And I am embracing the freedom of treating this very much like I have approached journaling.
This blog will not be for everyone, or actually for anyone in particular. (I know all you staunch believers in picking a niche are cringing right now - but I cannot be concerned about that right now)
This blog is about proving to myself that I can do it. It will be for me. But not because I’m a narcissist or don’ t care about others.In fact the opposite is true. This blog will be about the journey of life. Raw and transparent, difficult and disappointing, encouraging and energetic. I believe that it is the human experience, the sharing of ideas, life lessons, challenges and triumphs that connect us deeply.
If my thoughts and ideas about the lessons I’ve learned, am learning, and have yet to learn intrigue you, touch you, encourage you, endear or inspire you in any way I am very pleased and would be honored if you would share your thoughts and life lessons with me also.
My pursuit of my purpose is often a study in contradictions, an ungraceful dance between what my flesh wants and God requires, and a truly sincere attempt to be the best me that I can be - which is questionable how well I reach the mark.
Why we blog …the reasons are as vast as the people who put finger to keyboard and hand to mouse. Why I blog … well because I believe much of my experiences, challenges, thoughts and ideas are shared by more people than I know. Because I want to liberate others by freeing myself.
For the first time I am charging myself with the task of “just doing it.” Without any agenda, intention or outcome in mind other than proving to myself that I can.
Sanyika, The gatherer